G'day fucktards,Your friends here at AreWeTooSoon? would like to wish you and yours a safe and prosperous Friday the 13th.
There are many who observe this day by being overly paranoid bad things will happen.
AreWeTooSoon? thinks that's a big pile of hooey.
If you are one of these superstitious people, you paraskevidekatriaphobia-stricken douchebags, we invite you to prove us wrong today. If we see a glut of great new material... I mean tragic and sad occurrences go down today, we will gladly admit we're wrong on this one and you will be recognized accordingly.
So friends, today, feel free to smoke while filling up your car, blow dry your hair in the bathtub, hurl racial slurs at Mike Tyson, or eat at KFC. Don't get drunk and drive too close to a manure spreader though... yawn.
Why do we not think there's anything special about Friday the 13th? If it's one thing this site has taught, it's that fucked up stuff happens on each and every date. FACT: Tuesday September 11th did not occur on a Friday the 13th (I can't find a link to prove that but I'm still pretty sure). Also, H1N1 doesn't own a calendar.
Friday the 13th has just gotten so corporate and commercialized, it used to be about... I dunno... what, did Jesus stub his toe really hard getting up to take a piss in the middle of the night on a Friday the 13th? Then he had to piss hopping up and down on one foot causing him to totally miss the bowl? Then he tried to see if he could walk on urine and realized "nope, I guess just water"?
OR... is this just some sort of arbitrarily made up thing created out of nothing to try to scare people, like The Boogeyman or Dracula or AIDS?
Fuck you Friday the 13th, come and get me... come on... come on... pussy.
Hopefully there's something WORTHY to write about today kids. If not, talk to ya tomorrow.
Promise.
Love,
Chris Real
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