PEORIA, AZ (TS) - An Arizona woman allegedly run over by her Muslim father for becoming "too Westernized" has died. Noor Faleh Almaleki, 20, clung to life for nearly two weeks after being run down by her father's car.
Her Iraqi father, SoDads Insane, had felt his daughter had become too assimilated to American culture, so he decided to teach her a lesson by punishing her with unnecessary violence... oh, the irony.
SoDads Insane first started getting worried about his daughter when he would catch her watching 'Seinfeld' marathons, and put posters of Adam Sandler and Barbara Streisand up in her room.
It seems after a couple years of watching his girl play video games while listening to the Jonas Brothers and stuffing her face with jalapeno chips and microwavable burritos, SoDads finally snapped when his daughter announced she was changing her name to Hannah bin Montana.
The final straw was when Noor was photographed by paparazzi getting out of a cab and revealing she was wearing no panties under her birka.
SoDads' worst fears were now realized, and he started suffering from a common condition known as Iraqnaphobia, leading him to this awful, awful(ly funny) crime.
Sodads has been extradited to Dirkadirkastan until his trial.
SoDads four other kids, all sons who play varsity baseball, work at McDonald's, and love Coca-Cola and apple pie and bald eagles and Disneyland, were unharmed.
Love,
Chris Real
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