Charlotte-Mecklenburg, NC (TS) -- Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry died Thursday from injuries sustained in a Wednesday fall from the back of a pickup truck. He was 26. Betcha thought we'd disappeared.
Hells no... just waiting on something big... for a really big name in the world of music, movies, or sports to knock off.
Chris Henry will have to do.
So much grief and sorrow going down on Twitter today... just imagine how much worse it would be if any of these people had ever met the guy... or at least had him on their fantasy team.
Chris Henry gets points for originality as he will always be known as "the NFL guy that DIDN'T die by gun shot".
According to the linked article, Henry died after falling from a truck after getting all "Bengal" (that means committing assault) on his wife, and trying to jump on a truck she was driving away in to escape Mr. Tough Guy.
Of course, it's no surprise Henry checked out early, he was never that good at going long.
As he was a Bengal, his dying before the NFL playoffs start reduces his chances to play in this year's Super Bowl by... zero percent.
Chris Henry's main contribution to society will now and forever be, the people of the world thanking him for disrupting Tiger Woods coverage for 20 minutes.
The funeral was originally going to be the Super Bowl halftime show, but the NFL was unable to reschedule the funeral for The Who's career.
Mourners are encouraged to donate to the "Maybe don't fall off a truck you knob" accident prevention fund... but the family reminds people to give a bit more than they oridinarily would, as Henry's agent still gets 15% of the haul.
In the interest of levity, I'll end with a joke.
What's the difference between Chris Henry and AreWeTooSoon?
AreWeTooSoon? can say "It's good to be back."
Hutt hutt,
Chris Real
