Thursday, November 19, 2009

Edward Zold - AIDS activist - dies of AIDS

SAN (SURPRISE!) FRANSISCO, CA (TS) -- In the early, battle-heavy days of AIDS and HIV activism, Edward Zold was a young man who knew how to hold his own against the country's most prominent public health and government leaders.
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Looks like the quilt just got a little warmer, just in time for winter too. Even in death, Mr. Zold is still giving.
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As you know, AIDS is a disease that kills mostly homosexual men and drug addicts. For this reason, AIDS is known to southern Evangelicals as a "Gift from God".
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Mr. Zold was a prominent AIDS activist, much as I would become a prominent anti-harpoon activist if I had one lodged in my abdomen.
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Mr. Zold was instrumental in getting a lot of AIDS research funding passed, but was unsuccessful in his campaign to get the colour of the AIDS ribbon changed even though, as he said, "I can never wear anything orange becauthe it clashes eeeeewwwwweeeeee."
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Young Edward rallied people to his cause by pointing out that 87% of people over 65 have AIDS. he left out that these were hearing AIDS, digestion AIDS, band-AIDS, and Rol-AIDS.
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Edward Zold, although you have left us, your accomplishments live on, AIDS affects us all.
Jenny from Forrest Gump had AIDS. I loved that part of the movie where Forrest says "I may not be a smart man Jenny, but I know what antiretrovial preventive medication is."
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The Jonas Brothers have AIDS.
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I hope.
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There is a lot of fear of AIDS in the world now that it has been scientifically proven you can get AIDS from a public toilet seat or by sharing lipstick .
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Rest in peace Edward Zold... and wherever you are remember, no matter how much he asks, don't play UNO with Ryan White, the guy cheats like you wouldn't believe.
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We are the champions, my friend,

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