What has 3 letters, ends in V and is VERY good for bidness but...

...has absolutely nothing to do with Freddie Mercury?

Jackpot.

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Here's the stories making news this week, JUST this week, in the exciting for awhile world of all terrain vehicles.

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Rochester man dies in ATV accident in Cohocton

COHOCTON, NY (TS) -- A Rochester man died in an all terrain vehicle accident in the Town of Cohocton Friday night.
Wayland-based state police responded to an ATV accident shortly after 10 p.m. at the intersection of Avery Hollow and Rynders roads. According to troopers, Joseph D. Wellin, 49, was riding a Yamaha Rhino 660 4x4 ATV.

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Well Joe, you mess with the Rhino, you get the horns. Yamaheart goes out to your family and all but... you were riding on a city street for cripes sake. All terrain, EXCEPT where cars can go, ya knob.

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Pulaski County teen dies in ATV crash

LITTLE ROCK, AK (TS) -- Authorities say a 13-year-old boy died after he was pinned beneath an all-terrain vehicle that he was riding with friends. Pulaski County Coroner Garland Camper says Alex Hugg was pronounced dead Friday night, three hours after the accident.

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One ATV, three teenage kids, zero brains. If you see any of Alex's family, be sure to give them a hug. Actually, maybe that's too soon. Awe... do you need a hug? NO YOU INSENSITIVE PRICK, we need a HUGG!

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Girl dies in ATV accident

SHUNIAH, ON (TS) -- A 10-year-old girl is dead following an all terrain vehicle accident on Sunday at a Lake Shore Drive residence in Shuniah.
The Ontario Provincial Police responded to the incident at approximately 3:35 p.m.
"When officers arrived, an initial investigation revealed that a 10-year-old female was operating an ATV," said Const. Diana Cole. "The ATV rolled over; she was not wearing a helmet at the time."

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I always thought Ontario was very proud that Shuniah was from there... maybe I'm thinking of something else. I know, bad pun, you're thinking, "That don't impress me much", well it's better saying something about how "The woman in me - was a messy clean up" or something, at least I have more tact than that.

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Girl dies in ATV crash at Chanceford Township

YORK, PA (TS) -- A 15-year-old girl from the Felton area died Thursday afternoon in an ATV crash in Chanceford Township, according to state police.
Trooper Michael Levinsky said that just after 3 p.m., the 15-year-old, who was driving the ATV, and her 14-year-old female passenger were riding southbound on Sechrist Flat Road when the driver lost control "for unknown reasons."

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Women drivers, I tell ya.

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"Unknown reasons"... my money is on she thought the T stood for texting.

No names have been released, but they should rename the street after her. Hell, they could even keep the "Flat" in there if they wanted.

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Fort Hood soldier dies in ATV accident while at home on leave

FORT HOOD, TX (TS) -- Fort Hood Spc. Stephen Ray Brown, 21, of Ottawa, Kan., died Saturday in Greeley, Kan. in an ATV accident while home on leave, the post said Monday.

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Holy hell, this dude is easily in the top 14 most unlucky Fort Hood soldiers I've ever heard of. No word on the maker of the ATV, probably a YaMohammed. You think he'd have known better.

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There's more, but I wanna avoid a tl:dr situation here... perhaps this can become another AreWeTooSoon? feature... Who am I kidding, of course it can.

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Vroom vroom!

Chris Real