Wednesday, October 28, 2009

When Coyotes Attack Folk Singers!




Bob Bancroft, a retired biologist, has stated that these kinds of attacks are extremely rare, given that coyotes are generally shy in nature. However, park staff have indicated that the coyotes appeared "very agitated" Tuesday night. One hiker, who wishes to remain anonymous, reports that Mitchell was playing some songs for passersby on the trail about thirty minutes before the attack. Sadly, these two coyotes were the last two hecklers she ever saw. There was no encore.

An RCMP officer shot at one of the coyotes, but no dead body has been found. Though showing sympathy for Mitchell, this reaction from the RCMP officer has raised some concerns from prominent members of PETA (People For The Ethical Treatment Of Animals). Pamela Anderson has released a statement through her publicist decrying the possible killing of a coyote. She says, "It's like so sad that someone had to like die and stuff. I mean, folk singers are like totally people too. But we have to save the coyotes!"

The folk community has shown tremendous solidarity in showing their support for a fellow performer. In particular, PETFS (People For The Ethical Treatment Of Folk Singers) are planning a joint benefit concert, celebrating the music of Mitchell and fellow up-and-coming singer/songwriter Jonathan Boyd, who died earlier this month after going home with a cougar after a gig.

Bob Dylan paid tribute to Mitchell today during a rare afternoon performance in St. Louis, telling the crowd; "Yhdbh andh Taybdtr Muivvdll wsaj oijiofhakon oianyegg." Unfortunately, Dylan's translator was unavailable for comment.

-JJ Ramone


1 comment:

  1. Um, what?

    I don't mean to sound all emo here and JJ your piece is good and all but... I wish you'd check with me before posting something.

    I really like my last entry... I think it's brilliant actually, the one about the fast food workers.

    You see, I worship fast food workers, so my last piece was like I was writing about... well, like I was writing about dead idols.
    It woulda been nice if it was the first entry people saw on my... er whoops I mean our site for more than 8 or 9 hours.

    Yes, I know most people have the scroll function and know how to use it, but can we
    really trust it in an emergency, can we?

    Too soon?

    BWAHAHAHAHAHA yeah FOR SURE too soon.

    The article: This is really no loss... a Canadian folk singer with the last name Mitchell? It would never work.

    I hope no one takes offense to my comments. If you do though, please don't bite my head of, out of respect for the Mitchell family... it's just too soon.

    Chris Real

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