LOS ANGELES (TS) - Bruce Springsteen canceled a performance in Kansas City on Monday after the death of his cousin who was the assistant road manager of the E Street Band.
Ok, his name was Cousin Roadie? Jeebus, that dictates a person's career in life more than I librarian named Bookman, or a fisherman named Fishman, or a FOXnews anchor named Cluelessdickface.
Oh, I guess his actual name was Lenny Sullivan, he was 36, and he was found in his hotel room DEAD! in the USA, he was DEAD! in the US A-eee-A yesterday.
Police are investigating the death, but do not suspect foul play... no Gory Days... still, The Boss needs a new employee.
I can see why they'd cancel a show over this... finding someone else who could like, lift stuff would be a pretty difficult task.
When reached for comment, Springsteen seemed to mumble incoherently for a couple minutes before his words suddenly became loud and clear for a couple sentences before returning to more incoherent mumbling... which I'm sure was still pretty deep even though no one could understand it.
Jon Bon Jovi, in an effort to continue along his chosen career path of blatantly ripping off Bruce but really really watering it down, arranged for his roadie to twist his ankle.
Bob Segar is quoted as saying something about how he started having roadies die in the early 70's.
Word has it when Mr. Sullivan gets to heaven, he will be instructed to load in through the kitchen.
Love,
Chris Real
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