Oct. 21th 2009, this day in Too Soonews

Happy Hump Day all you depraved, degenerate Too Soon-sters!

First off: FuckaduckacocksuckashittwatpoopastinkaFUCK. I woke today to see "RIP Kanye" as a trending topic on Twitter. After changing my pants, I looked into it further and saw it was a hoax. I still hold out hope though. Kanye's death would be great for not only this site, but the music biz, and indeed the world as a whole. He should go to the same doctor his mom went to.

Alas, our planet is still a rich source of Too Soon-worthy discussion... so here we go.

1) Pulitzer Prize-winning reporter Jack Nelson dies at 80
Jack Nelson came to prominence covering the Civil Rights Movement in the 60's and Watergate in the 70's while working with the LA Times. There's a HUGE article about all his accomplishments during his career with the LA Times... in the LA Times today. No word on whether that qualifies as a news article or ad space.
Covering the 60's Civil Rights Movement wasn't easy for the Caucasian Nelson, so in order to gain access to meetings with black leaders of the time, Jack would disguise himself by putting a white hood on his face so no one could see the colour of his skin. This proved unsuccessful.
He won the Pulitzer prize for journalism... today... for writing his own obituary with THIS date on it back in the 80's. His Pulitzer prize for this is not without controversy though, as he had an unfair advantage over other reporters in getting this date right... as evidenced last month as the date was approaching, and he started smoking 50 Marlborough's and drinking 2 quarts of Jim Beam a day, and started having constant unprotected sex on his suspiciously too frequent trips to Bangkok.

2) Former Wyo. governor, US Sen. Clifford Hansen dies
Mr. Hansen became governor of the most important state in the US, Wyoming, in 1962, after securing 55% of the popular vote, or 23 people. Then he became that state's senator in 1966. Then he died at 97. Then the article ended. Clifford Hansen is no Ted Kennedy, and I bet he regrets it now. A battle with the bottle or a manslaughter killing could've added at least a couple paragraphs to this story. (which by the way, can only be found in the Jackson Hole Daily, the local small town newspaper in the place he was born) Now, he will be moving from Jackson Hole to Hansen hole.

3) Bond villian Joseph Wiseman dead at 91
Wisemen is best known for his title role in the 1962 Sean Connery Bond flick Dr. No. Sean Connery is better known for his role in that movie. Born in Canada in 1919, Wisemen spent most of his life pursuing a stage career, appearing in a whole bunch of stuff the linked article mentions but I've never heard of so whatever. The guy was Dr. No. That's it.
Apparently, being known for this role was a source of frustration for Wisemen. From the article:

Although Wiseman was part of movie history, his daughter said he viewed "Dr. No" with "great disdain." "He was horrified in later life because that's what he was remembered for," she said. "Stage acting was what he wanted to be remembered for."

Well Dr. No, you never have to worry about that again Dr. No. Your lifelong nightmare is over Dr. No. Rest in peace Dr. No.


And that is Oct. 21st, 2009, the day that is so far... weak crop... but the day is still young... and so is Kanye (relatively), but let's keep our fingers crossed.

Love,
Chris Real