AreWeTooSoon? Movie Review - Michael Jackson 'This Is It'

I do not have several leather bound books, nor does my apartment smell of rich mahogany. Still, I have to mention, I'm kind of a big deal.

When it became known I wanted to do a review on the new MJ movie 'This Is It', Jackson's attorneys got to work. They pulled some strings, paid off a bunch of witnesses, whatever they had to do to get me into the premier.

Not the premier all those other Hollywood celebs went to last night (thereby indirectly condoning and promoting child abuse - I hope you're proud you twats), no, a much more special premier - one that included deleted scenes and bonus features.

There'll be approx. 14,000 reviews of the actual movie out there today, so I will concentrate on reviewing the deleted scenes and special features. You came to the right place friends.

I'll start with an interesting tidbit, producers chose the title 'This Is It', after realizing most of their first picks were already taken. These include:

Boys On the Side
Boys Love
Where the Boys Are
For the Boys
Unlawful Entry

Deleted scene #1:
The camera pans out to show Jackson on an operating table, having undergone his last skin bleaching treatment. Michael is heard to mumble something about how "After all this I'm still some sort of hero to a good portion of black people" and then he cackles madly.

Deleted scene #2:
Shows a press junket on the day of MJ's death, with a bunch of reporters from all over the world furiously deleting the phrases "child molester" and "paid off families of several children" and inserting the phrases "troubled artist" and "never convicted", as well as changing "in hiding after fleeing the country" to "eccentric".

Deleted scene #3:
Has quite a few touching moments... which is why it's too disturbing to describe here - you can check the police statements if you wish to know further.

Bonus feature #1:
A "guess the year" game, where a picture of Michael's face is shown with three options to pick from. 1968 and 2009 are really easy, the other ones are quite a challenge.

Bonus feature #2:
A "where's Michael" activity, sort of like where's Waldo, but MJ is hiding amongst some of his contemporaries like OJ Simpson, Vince Neil, Ted Kennedy, and other famous people that have committed horrible crimes... the game might not seem hard, but they are all hiding in a huge pile of money.

So yeah, it was an enlightening evening at the movies for me.

Y'know, I have fun with this site, exploring the ridiculousness of life, death, and our world... but in this case, I'm literally ecstatic this piece of shit is dead.

Anyone who actually goes to this movie should be ashamed of themselves... I'm guessing no kid that ever spent the night at Neverland Ranch is attending.

Oh yeah, and Liz Taylor, someone should curb stomp you.

No love,
Chris Real