J.D. Salinger, author of 'Catcher in the Rye', dies

NEW YORK (TS) -- J.D. Salinger, the legendary author, youth hero and fugitive from fame whose "The Catcher in the Rye" shocked and inspired a world he increasingly shunned, has died. He was 91.

I like, never read 'Catcher In the Rye' - I feel bad about that, but slightly better knowing that means I have only read one less J.D. Salinger novel than anyone else.

I did rent the straight to DVD 'Catch Her In the Eye' (thanks Rude Dude) from Uncle Knuckle Children's House of Horny once. I really enjoyed that movie for its themes of alienation and rebellion... and what might be considered by most to be an excessive amount of violent anal penetrations.

Twitter is atwitter with this shocking news... I'm not sure how a 91 year old dying is "shocking" news but on Twitter anything is possible. It's a damn good thing J.D. didn't die in Haiti, or else the internets would get exploded.

Salinger died of natural causes, it started with a bad Caulfield, that just kept Holden on.

After writing 'Catcher In the Rye', Salinger became very reclusive, leading to talks to star in a movie with Dave Chappelle, and the opportunity to record a couple guitar tracks on 'Chinese Democracy'.

Was Salinger Buckethead? Of course that's never been confirmed, but the answer is, "Obviously".

You see there's actually a song on 'Chinese Democracy' called 'Catcher In the Rye'... and Axl himself is a famous recluse. I should not have to explain this to you douche nozzles!

J.D. Salinger... what the fuck? I feel bad for calling Pernell Roberts death a boring one.

Just to try to get a bit more content in this piece, even though it's in no way related (just like everyting else in this piece), Barack Obama gave his first State of the Union address last night, meaning he's made it through one year of being president, meaning I owe a lot of people a lot of beers.

Here's hoping if the next "celeb" death has to be an author, it's Danielle Steele.

Love,
Chris Real