G'day you sick, depraved fucktards, you lowest of the low of human garbage, who get some form of disgusting joy basking in the misery and misfortune of others...Thanks for stopping by! Enjoy!
“All My Children” Actor James Mitchell Dies at 89
Like sands through the hourglass, these were the last days of this old geezer's life. It was Friday when James saw the Guiding Light.
Mitchell died at Cedars Medical Center in Los Angeles, proving the guy has NO sense of humour what so ever since LA General Hospital is like 5 minutes from there.
Sources close to the "actor" are still not certain it was Mitchell himself who kicked off, or whether it was his evil twin, Johan - who disappeared from a lavish charity event thrown by the family three years ago and has been rumoured to now be a diamond smuggler is Peru - with sexy results.
ABC, the network that broadcasts "All My Children", may now cancel the show, in favour of a more urban, street cred worthy next generation of soap opera - reportedly starring former NBA stars. The show is to be called "Deez All My Children?".
Popular Milwaukee TV Priest Jakubek Dies
Funeral services were held over the weekend in Omaha for the Reverend Gene Jakubek, who died last Tuesday at age 87. He was known for his TV show “The Answer is Love” – as well as his spiritual retreats, lectures, and counseling sessions.
Like all good TV evangelists, Jakubek admitted in the 80's to having an affair with a woman 25 years younger than him. Fuck, no wonder these A-holes believe in miracles.
Jakubek claimed on a weekly basis to be friends with the Lord, but when the Lord was asked to comment on his supposed buddy, he commented, "Who?" before adding, "Oh, that's that douchebag from Milwaukee right? That prick owes me millions of dollars!"
That's right, God uses words like douchebag and prick, I laughed too.
'Survivor:Palau' alum Jennifer Lyon dies at age 37
Jennifer Lyon, who finished in fourth place on the "reality" show Survivor's tenth season, died at her home in Oregon yesterday.
This sucks - I'm trying to think of some humour I can extract out of this Survivor contestant dying, but I'm coming up completely empty. This person who appeared on Survivor didn't die funny death, her name (which many know from her time on the show Survivor) isn't an interesting one to make fun of, and this Survivor contestant has never been in trouble with the law, either before, or after, her stint on Survivor.
The tribe has spoken, and they say this death is borrrrrrrr-iiiiiiing.
Soap operas, reality TV, and televised church - three of the big four of useless TV. If Tony Danza coulda died this week as well we'd have a high score.
Love,
Chris Real
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